Good day all, Steve here, bringing you my weekly Friday column...on Monday. Give me a break! My girlfriend dragged me out for dim sum, Chinese brunch, and she was, like, "Let's get some chicken feet," and I'm, like, "No way, that's nasty," and she's all, like, "No, let's branch out. Get some feet." As it is turns out, chicken feet are considered to be quite a desirable appetizer among the Chinese community, though personally it gives me the willies, but I'm kind of squeamish about new foods. I'm not trying to be culturally insensitive, I'm just not down with feet, ya know? Anyway, all this indecision about the chicken feet left me a bit dragged out, so I had to take a nap, but now I'm here to bring this week's column, which is about the Olympics.

Greetings all, Steve here, back again. I was going to post something last week, but, like many people lately, I came down with mild death-like symptoms. I went to the doctor and he said that, hypodermically speaking, I should be fine, ouch, so after a few days rest, I'm back in the saddle. Today I'm going to take a break from saying silly things about business and say some silly things about something many people are critically concerned about these days, something that could effect every area of our lives, business and personal: the U.S. presidential election.

Here are my thoughts: It's insane.

Allow me to elaborate. The United States presidential election is a time-honoured tradition, but like many time-honoured traditions, it's completely mental. I mean, think about it. Why must the election be held exactly every 4 years and consist of an arcane series of nominations and pre-elections to elect a candidate from one of two parties which are not really that different from each other? Because it's tradition. Fair enough, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. I mean, it used to be tradition to use left-handed people as test projectiles in catapults. Honest, look it up. They did it all the time. That's why there are so few left-handed people around. See, you learn something every day.

Hi Folks, Steve here. Just a quick one today. Even though we're officially into the new year now, my brain is still very much on vacation, so today I'm just responding to a number of requests for high resolution versions of the DIYPlanner Gift Cards I posted last week. Once I recover from the holidays, I'll be back in full form next week. Enjoy!

Greetings folks, Steve here, wishing you a Merry Christmas from the DIYPlanner crew. Although we're all about doing it yourself around here, this time of year many of us like to do it with other people as well, in the spirit of festive togetherness and stuff...that sounded dirtier than it was supposed to. Oh well.

With that in mind, and unable to find any way to make fun of Doug Johnston again this year, I decided to add to the growing list of DIYPlanner swag and produce some official DIYPLANNER.COM greetings cards. Of course, it's too late to send out Christmas cards, but if you're like me, you don't send out Christmas cards until late January anyway, so I guess these would be New Year's cards. Don't thank me. Just think of it as a public service you totally didn't need. Shockingly, many people still don't realize the benefits of paper-based planning, so let's take this opportunity to spread the word about our fine site and encourage greater organization in the new year. Enjoy and happy holidays!

Hi all, Steve here again, after a short absence. I've been busy selling Christmas retail you see and Christmas retail has the affect of destroying your brain. I tried to write a column last week, but all I managed to do was drool on the keyboard, which seemed unsatisfactory subject matter to base a column on. But now I'm done with retail for the time being and I'm back to write a column: About retail!

Bet you didn't see that coming. Or maybe you did. But still, it's a subject worth talking about. Many people are busy these days, running around doing last minute Christmas shopping…but I discovered something during my time in retail: Most of what they sell is garbage. And I'm here to tell you what not to buy for Christmas with: Steve's List Of What Not To Buy For Christmas!

Good day all, Steve here, welcoming you to the start of the end of your week. So I was thinking about Windows Vista. I was not thinking good things. I work in an electronics store and we have a steady stream of people walking in the door threatening to bash their computers with an axe, because they can't get Vista to work properly. Usually, we suggest a sledgehammer.

It occurred to me that perhaps we're looking at this whole problem the wrong way. Maybe Vista isn't a terrible operating system that doesn't work right and is unbelievably slow and has a lot of useless features and won't play games or burn c.d.s and generally doesn't do a damned thing. Verily, it honketh mightily. Here's an idea: maybe Vista's simply a tool for people who enjoy pain in their lives. Hmm…

Hey, Steve here. I was ruminating on ideas for today's post and I ran one past Doug Johnston, our resident medieval longbow archery expert, and he said that I might offend all of our readers from Mongolia. This seemed unlikely to me, partly because I don't know for a fact that we have any readers in Mongolia, but Douglas is a cautious fellow, which is a very good quality in someone who practices medieval longbow archery, let me just say. I told Doug that he was being silly and then he reminded me that I've offended people in the past on this site. No I haven't, I thought. That's silly.

Well, o.k., I might have offended a few people, but not that many. I sat down and made a list. Over the past two plus years of writing for this site, I've offended the religious right, the liberal left, Italian people, French people, Irish people, American people, people from Finland, people from Norway, people from Sweden, probably people from Mongolia, Chinese-Canadian Irish celebrants, sellers, shoppers, tech support workers, young people, old people, my mother, my father, my girlfriend, Innowen, Sascha Chow, Dr. Seuss fans, perverts, organized people, disorganized people, women, men and gay female video game enthusiasts. And Doug. O.k., so I've offended a few people! Well then, how about something to bring us all together again, something we can all relate to?

Greetings all, Steve here. Ow. My back hurts. Ow! Well, it's my own fault. I've thrown my back out twice in my life and both times were after I lost a fight with a Swiss exercise ball. Swiss people must be very flexible, but I'm not, at least not anymore. Ow:( But it's not my fault. It's genetics. I am just one more victim of testosterone poisoning.

Testosterone poisoning has to do with the nature of the male human creature and his function in society. We used to need lots of testosterone and now we don't, anymore. My girlfriend Meghan and I had a discussion the other day about the nature of men and women. I said that women were overly complicated and she claimed that men are too simple. This seemed unfair to me, but I contemplated her words later that night. Meghan had gone for a night with the girls to share their thoughts and emotions about the challenges of life, both good and bad and unload the stress of the week. I stayed home and are a bag of oats.

Hi all, Steve here. This is gonna be a short one, 'cause I’m starting a new job today. It's not a job I'm all that excited about. It's actually a job I've done before. It's a job that I can't entirely believe I'm doing again. Let me put that another way, give you some perspective. If someone said I could get paid to rub sandpaper on my eyeballs, I'd be there in a second. It's just not very stimulating. Or interesting. Or well paying. Last time I did this job, the only way I was able to get myself out of bed to go to work was to have my girlfriend smash me in the face with a 5-pound barbell.

Although, my mother always taught me to find something good in every situation. On further reflection, however, the best thing I can say about this job is that it's temporary. Then again, I bet everybody has tales of woe at work.

This got me to wondering what terrible tales the readers of this website have about work and whether, if I asked them to share them, it would count as having written a post. I think it would.