Yeah I'm A Goof-Off, But It Could Be Worse

Making ExcusesGreetings all, Steve here. This week I've developed a new process for, while not actually being more efficient or getting things done better, to appear be doing so, due to the fact that you're not worse. How it works is, you apologize for something you've done badly or failed to do entirely and then point out that you didn't do something worse. It's quite an innovation, I think. Oh, by the way, sorry that my post is a little later this week, but at least I'm not a serial killer. See, it works. :)

I came up with the idea when putting together a presentation for school. I'm doing something fairly unconventional and I can't really back up my theory or support my conclusions, but it is a very neat idea. I am anticipating potentially being torn apart in my presentation and I thought that I should forestall any criticisms by saying right off the top that it was an unprovable theory and asking for everyone to be open-minded. I'm calling it, "Random Thoughts On Egypt by Steve Sharam or Please Blow Holes In This Presentation." I'm using a lot of Far Side cartoons. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Anyway, this train of thought got me to thinking about how this process could be expanded for use in the corporate world. I think that this has real possibilities. Take, for example, the following example scenarios, for example:

"Sorry boss, I didn't get that presentation done, but at least I didn't sleep with your wife."

"Ladies and gentlemen of the board, you'll likely find that this presentation that I was supposed to be working on for the last three months lacks refinement and, um, facts, because I threw it together in the elevator on the way up here, because I was up all night thinking about Eva Longoria, but at least I didn't steal the spark plugs from a nun's car."

"While it's true, Your Honor, that my client embezzled $40 million from unsuspecting investors and lost it all in a craps game in Vegas, I would like to bring it to the court's attention that never once did my client sell homemade napalm to schoolchildren."

Actually, I think that defense has been used several times. It's possible, in fact, that this process could be expanded to personal relationships as well:

"Sorry honey, I know I shouldn't be ignoring you all the time because I spend so much time at work, but at least I didn't sleep with my boss."

I think that the possibilities of this approach are endless. Any ideas about other ways to apply this approach? I won't look at them, but at least I won't out-right insult you in public. Until then, keep your pen on the page and don't steal anyone's pants. Oh well, you do better. :P

Steve Sharam

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Not a new idea, sorry

I'm afraid its not a new idea, Steve, food manufacturers have been using that ploy for a long time:
'This product contains GM soy, aspertame, ADHD inducing food colorants, cancer causing unpronouncables, but, hey, at least there is no sulfuric acid or cyanide (speek:preservatives, or anything else that is NOT) in it'

Darn it!

Yeah, you're right. I thought I was onto something original there. I'm on a health kick and I've started reading the labels on most food items I buy. It's far scarier than just blindly wandering through life. In fact, I'm now quite a fan of blindly wandering.

Steve Sharam