The Twelve Days Of Doug

D*I*Y Christmas
Greetings all and welcome to Steve's D*I*Y Christmas post. Now, I had a major problem with this post and it's one that I brought on myself. That is, I asked for ideas on what I could write about for Christmas. And I received them. Many of them. I asked and I received. Hmm, very Christmassy, actually. Anyway, you people made me look bad. Thanks a lot! I had no ideas whatsoever and you lot showed up with ideas so wonderfully warped that I was almost wishing I hadn't asked, because I didn't think I could come up with anything as good. But then I realized something, an immutable, fundamental truth of the holiday season. "Steve," I said to myself, "it's Christmas Eve and you still have to buy something for your girlfriend." Meghan can be seen here with me. I'm the one with the mask. Can't be too careful these days.

Now, theoretically, I should have inside knowledge of the D*I*Y Planner and be able to give some kind of insight that others don't have, by virtue of the fact that Douglas always includes me in his D*I*Y Planner development forums. You have to understand, however, that I think he does this mainly out of a desire to make me feel better, because I've never once given a helpful suggestion to the insanely technical questions he asks in these groups.

Doug: "What would you consider the best outside-the-box improvement for the Priority Matrix template, assuming a dynamic multi-textured workflow spectrum?"

Steve: "Why don't you put wheels on it?!"

Yes, I'm not very helpful in the old forums, but still, I thought, I must have something I can come up with that will carry on the Christmas tradition of embarrassing Doug. I think I did that quite successfully last year, but then again, he wasn't expecting it and I think I might have tipped him off when I asked the 75,000 or so daily readers of this thing for their suggestions. Yes sir, that Doug's pretty crafty and he likely picked up on that. Nevertheless, Chapters closes at 6, so let's push onward.

The most obvious solution is to parody a traditional holiday story or song, inserting Doug in some comical way. Over the past few days, I made many attempts that I ultimately had to abandon. A selection of those dogs:

"As Douglas washed his socks by night…"

"Twas the night before the Hipster release and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for Doug, who was still up friggin' with the Priority Matrix template…"

"We three Doug's of Orient are…" I don't even know where I was going with that one.

Clearly this was going to be harder than I had anticipated. What to do, what to do? I was truly at an impasse. Then I remembered what my Dad told me when I was young: "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, you probably just don't know what's going on." Hmm, words to consider, certainly. And as Chapters closes soon and I still have to shave my ears, let us then reflect on The Twelve Days of Christmas.

To the tune of The Twelve Days Of Christmas. Obviously. All together now!

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my friend Doug gave to me:

Twelve goal-planning templates
Eleven misprinted planners
Ten website URIs on how to build a cage for your pet wombat
Nine ladies dancing (it just felt like I should leave this one in:)
Eight project outlines
Chapters closes in an hour
Six geeks a planning
Why didn't I doooo thiiiiis earlierrrrrrrrrrr?
Four contact logs
Three rare books on taxidermy for some reason
Two shopping checklists so I don't end up in the same situation next year
A gift certificate for a guided meditation in which I found out my power animal was a duck with attention deficit disorderrrrrrr.

Well, that's all from me. Until next time, keep your pen on the page and your geeks a planning. Merry Christmas from us to yous.

Steve Sharam

p.s. Seeing as, to paraphrase Douglas Adams, this is a celebration of a guy who 2000 years ago got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be for everybody to just be nice to one another for a change and seeing as how we're still working on that, why not take one minute and check out Make Poverty History. The name says it all.

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... five things we did not

... five things we did not know about him. ;^)

You got it...

We aim to educate around here:P

Steve Sharam

Another classic post!

I've been waiting to see what you came out with here, Steve, and you didn't let me down.

However, the burning question remains: did you, in fact, make it to Chapters, and what did you get your girlfriend for Christmas? Keep in mind that I do not know what "Chapters" is... could it be a bookstore? Or something more sinister? Inquiring minds...


Indeed I did

Glad to know people were on the edge of their seats:) I did make it to Chapters, the book mega store, and I got Meg the new Harry Potter book of spells. It was for charity, but she immediately turned her parents into some sort of small dinosaurs. Sadly, even the best intentioned last-minute gifts can go awry:(

Steve Sharam

ooohers, thanks for the tip steve. i'm glad to hear that the new book works as advertised. what other things does it do?

happy ho-ho!


It does many things, mainly connected with Senate redistricting. Strange book, actually.

Steve Sharam