DIY Planner - Humour - Comments

Customer Service Slaps return

persephony4 — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:00:15 -0400

I feel the pain of having to call customer service lines to get help for one thing or another. Currently my all in one printer/scanner has given me the proverbial finger. I use the scanner on a regular occasion and this is the THIRD time that it has kicked out the automatic functions I have set. I miss my apple computer.. I have never had problems with anything Apple. Unfortunately my office has not seen the fruit (light) in switching. So I sigh, prepare a strong cup of coffee and head into the fire of the endless "on Hold" sessions to get this printer fixed... yet again. I wish it would go up in smoke. Then I might get something that worked! Glad to know I'm not the only one stuck in this oblivion hell. Well off to go get slapped and giggled at. I can now laugh at it all myself. Thanks.

Ha!

jonglass — Mon, 4 Aug 2008 20:45:53 -0400

I have a friend working in Cork with Apple customer service, and he is the exact opposite of what you describe. Plus, the people he's working with (we've audio iChatted) sound just as quiet and humble as he is....

Plus, in my now-ancient experience with Apple phone tech support, they were always helpful, and never smarter, cooler or overqualified--acting in their demeanor....

Anyway, the one(s) I know are quite nice. :-)

-Jon

Heating pads should be

honeymic — Mon, 4 Aug 2008 19:53:19 -0400

Heating pads should be outlawed! My mom's house burned down because of a short in one-no kidding! Thank goodness for the cat who woke everyone up--no injuries, but also no more heating pads. Apple's tech support is very good, if you just go with the fact that they are way smarter and cooler than you and soooo overqualified to help you.

LOLOLOLOL

Tournevis — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:27:03 -0400

LOLOLOLOL

I've actually never had a serious problem

steves — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 05:27:46 -0400

with any of my Macs and they've performed very well...except for the exploding heating pad, which technically wasn't their fault. I wonder if the heating pad was running Vista...

"No wonder we're not picking up any radio signals from alien species. They're not sending any! They're too afraid we'll answer." - George Carlin

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

Apple Tech Support...

Rollafool — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:01:50 -0400

...can let you down (it's true!). Years ago I had a G3 iBook that suffered a motherboard failure in which the screen and the RAM both stopped talking to the CPU. The machine also had a busted CD-ROM drive (unrelated problem), so I sent it in to Apple to fix both. They sent it back with the hard drive completely wiped -- as in no operating system, no files, nothing. Oh, and they didn't fix the CD-ROM drive, either, which meant I couldn't boot off the backup CDs. Back to Apple for another fix... I think it was six weeks before I had a working machine again. Then of course I had to re-load my apps and files, update the OS, reset preferences...

MacMedics handles all my maintenance now.

And now for something completely different...

ygor — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:05:51 -0400

SLAP ! Hee he he heee!
-----------------------------------
"I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin and Hobbes/Bill Waterson)

Heh, good point

steves — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:28:00 -0400

There's likely some over-arching government agency, The Department Of Face Slapping, that co-ordinates consumer discomfort. Probably a wing of the Department Of Redundancy Department;)

"No wonder we're not picking up any radio signals from alien species. They're not sending any! They're too afraid we'll answer." - George Carlin

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

slapping games

Sharon Elin — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 02:57:12 -0400

Hey, I think you're on to something! You may be spilling the secret: corporate powers get together and plan yearly conferences, where they conduct interspecies training in dodgeball customer service. Seminar titles include:

How To Use a Binary Exponential Menu Code (In Spanish) So Customers Can't Find The Right Person To Talk To,
Perfect Your Foreign Accent So Customers Will Doubt What They Heard You Say,
The Art of Double-Speak And Techno-Jargon: Confuse Customers So They Think The Problem Is Their Fault,
Time Management: Proven Techniques That Keep Customers On Hold Until They Hang Up Because They Have To Pee Or Pick The Kids Up From Soccer,
and, of course, your favorite and mine, Rules For Playing Slap In The Face (And How To Make Sure The Next Operator Knows Nothing About The Customer's Situation So S/he Has To Repeat It Again.

My ISP (comcast)plays an expert game of "Slap in the Face," - and is a longtime tournament champion. So does my phone company (Verizon), whose monthly 102-page invoices would even confuse the head of the IRS. But definitely the worst in my recent experience: Sears appliance repair. I won't throw up the details because it makes everyone around me gag when I start to spit and spray while ranting.

Anyway, whenever I need to call a helpline, I drink Maalox on ice and leave frozen dinners and lunch money for tomorrow in the kitchen for my family.

And while I'm complaining, what IS it about music on hold? Most of it sounds like the customer service secretary bought her favorite Barry Manilow cassette tape in 1983 and has been playing it under water ever since.

There. I feel better.

Enjoy your Mac. You probably make far fewer calls for help than I do. I have Windows.

Poof!

Tournevis — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:28:13 -0400

It happened to me too, once, with my PowerBook 170. I had just purchased a new laptop, a shining new iBook, and was in the process of giving the PowerBook to a friend, demonstrating its goodness. It then went POOF! Smoke came out of it and fizzle sounds and everything. So I did not give it to my friend. It has not happened since, in any of its successors, thankfully, and I knock on wood (my head) that it won't happen again.

Now burning heating pads, that I've seen often. I only use rice bags now. They don't burn up as often.

I repent

steves — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:47:18 -0400

Mia Culpa.

"No wonder we're not picking up any radio signals from alien species. They're not sending any! They're too afraid we'll answer." - George Carlin

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

Yeah

steves — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:46:00 -0400

For me too:P

"No wonder we're not picking up any radio signals from alien species. They're not sending any! They're too afraid we'll answer." - George Carlin

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

How dare you...

ygor — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:08:28 -0400

even consider the problem is in your Mac.
The problem is NEVER the Mac.
It is ALWAYS the fault of the router or the cable modem, or the ISP, but NEVER is the Mac at fault.

You should know better.
>:D
SLAP ! Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaa !
-----------------------------------
"I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin and Hobbes/Bill Waterson)

magic smoke

gill_smoke — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:47:00 -0400

I work at a company that makes electrical devices. We often say that once you let the "magic smoke" out of the electrical component it won't work.

Back on fire? That is a new one for me too.

My hero!

Dien — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 20:52:41 -0400

My hero!

D*I*Y Planner - Humour - Comments

Customer Service Slaps return

Ha!

Heating pads should be

LOLOLOLOL

I've actually never had a serious problem

Apple Tech Support...

And now for something completely different...

Heh, good point

slapping games

Poof!

I repent

Yeah

How dare you...

magic smoke

My hero!

DIY Planner - Humour - Comments